


Chiffon and Lace

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 11:16:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: Elsie marks Rachel's card when she hears a rumour.





	Chiffon and Lace

“ Cappuccino for you , skinny latte for me, didn't have muffins so I got us a couple of vanilla slices,  hope that's okay mum ?”

“ That's fine Claire love, I'm needing the sugar boost, I'm shopped out , I'm too old for this malarkey “

“ Give over Joan, you just need more practice that's all “ Claire smiled at her mother in law.

Joan and Claire had gone shopping to pick up a few extras for John and Kayleigh's upcoming wedding,  now it was relaxation time before Kayleigh picked them up later to take them home, they had decided on a coffee at the Costa a few doors away from John's work, they would text Kayleigh to let her know where they were when she finished. They were sitting in a high backed booth , Joan with her back to the door, Claire facing it. There were very few customers in at this time.

“ I think John's boss just came in Joan, Dave something isn't it ?, he's in with a tall blonde must be half his age”

Joan sneaked a look towards the counter.

“ Yes that's the little shit alright, makes our Kayleigh's life a misery, John's got no time for him “

“ His wife looks pretty “ Clair said watching them.

“ That's not his wife ! “

“ He just squeezed her arse though “ Claire said wide eyed.

“ Still not his wife “ Joan smiled.

Dave and Rachel carried their cups over to the booth that was back to back with Joan.

Joan put her finger to her lips , Claire nodded , this was a time for listening.

“ At least no bugger is going to be earwigging here Dave, it's so nice to get out of the shop “

Claire and Joan smiled at the earwigging comment.

“ Aye it is hen,  but mind if anyone comes in we’re talking about the new product line okay ?”

“ Hey you “ a loud Irish voice said.

“ Elsie “ Joan and Claire said together, nodding. They had met the Irish Amazon at Kayleigh's hen do, and found first impressions to be wrong , under that gruff exterior beat a heart of gold.

“ I wanna word wi you Rachel bitch “ Elsie said .

Joan raised her eyebrows ,Claire smiled.

“ Dave tell Elsie I don't want to talk to her “

“ Look now Elsie …..” Dave started saying.

“ If I was you Mr. Thompson I'd be more worried about your wife finding out about you and this cow, and what the two of you do in the disabled bogs , than I would be about shutting me up “

“ How dare you Elsie ? “  

“ I'm serious Mr Thompson, keep out of this, I'd dob you in it at the drop of a hat . It's that bitch I'm wanting to talk to, okay ?”

“Okay “ Dave said sheepishly.

“ Dave ?” Rachel said.

Dave took a drink of coffee and shrugged.

“ I just had a nice wee chat wi Michelle in dry cleaning so I did , do you wanna guess what she told me Rachel you bitch , do you eh ?”

“ Don't know what you're talking about Elsie “

“ Am no as green as am cabbage looking Rachel, don't treat me like an idiot , you know exactly what am talking about lady, exactly “

“ Not got the foggiest “

“ Well I'll jog your memory will ah?, that bitch there “ she said looking at Dave, “ was down at the dry cleaning desk asking what stains are the most difficult to get out of chiffon and lace, strange don't you think ?”  

“ Seems an innocent enough question to me “ Dave said.

“ Normally aye it would be , but the same morning that wee Kayleigh let slip that her dress was mostly chiffon and lace,  it strikes me as suspicious, especially given the history those two have “

Dave looked at Rachel, a look of disgust on his face.

“ Coincidence Elsie that's all, pure coincidence “ Rachel exclaimed

“ I don't believe you for an effin minute, no one trusts you not to sabotage this wedding , no one , how sad is that ?, we all know you're jealous, why do you think  Michelle told me ?, she knows what you're like, there's something wrong in your mind as far as you and wee Kayleigh are concerned “

“ No Elsie it's all in your mind “ Rachel said standing .

“ If I see you near Kayleigh or John at the reception with a glass in your hand, I'll do you, do you understand me Rachel ?, I'd have no qualms about decking you there and then, I wouldn't give a shit for the consequences, I'd do it right, and I'd enjoy it, but I can assure you you wouldn't “ Elsie said through her teeth.

Joan and Claire were sitting gobsmacked listening to the conversation going on only feet from them.

“ Why the two of them would invite you to their reception is beyond me ?, the pair of them are too soft if you ask me, but no they don't want you left out, cause you're an old friend of John's, misplaced loyalty if you ask me, an a told them that so a did, but they don't know what a jealous psycho bitch you are.  Keep away from her Rachel, I'll be watching you, you won't get another warning , this is it , keep away, got it ?”

“  John was mine long before she got here,I should have him not that little cow” Rachel exploded “ he belongs to me !”

“ She's no cow Rachel, she's a one man woman, and John is her man, and always will be”

“ She stole him from me, right under my nose , backstabbing little bitch “ she hissed.

“ Bollocks, you and him were never an item, never would have been, true you flung yourself at him a few times but you never took the hint did you, he was never attracted to you , you're too much of a slapper for him”

“ She's been around the block “ Rachel sneered. “ she's not snow white! “

“ She's the effin Virgin Mary compared to you love “

“ It should be me walking down that aisle with John, not her, he should be with me , me, I should be the next Missus Redmond, everybody can see that, that bitch is nowhere good enough for him”

“ You're delusional love, off your trolley if you think you deserve someone like him” Elsie replied.

“ Well they're not married yet eh , maybe I've got time ?” Rachel snarled.

“ You sad jealous bitch, why can't ye accept it eh ?, he's never ever wanted you, and he never would, what they have is magical, absolute devotion to each other and they're always going to have that, they have a one in a million relationship,  you could never have that. Accept that the one he was meant for, got him, you and him will never ever happen, and remember I'll be watching you, one step out of line Rachel and you'll be drinking hospital coffee next week, you've been warned “

“ Is that a threat Elsie , are you threatening me?”

“ And here's me thinking you were thick Rachel “

“ Did you hear that Dave ?”

“ I hope you did Mr Thompson, then you won't be able to say you didn't know if anything bad happens will you ?.”

Rachel looked at Dave, but he just shrugged.

“ You've both been warned, ruin any part of this wedding Rachel and I will hospitalise you lady, make no mistake, those two are special to me, and I'll defend them to the end, understand ?”

Claire looked out to see Elsie walk towards the door, as Elsie left she could see a crowd of women all in the same shop uniform as Elsie giving Rachel and Dave the “ We’re watching you” sign.

“ Looks like Elsie was only the spokeswoman, there's a posse out there” she said.

“ Elsie is a formidable woman, I'm so glad John and Kayleigh have her as a friend, she seems to be looking after them” Joan said.

“ But isn't it nice to know that other people see what we see , the fact that John and Kayleigh were meant for each other “

Dave got up and walked out shaking his head , followed by a trotting Rachel.

“ I wasn't planning anything Dave honestly, Dave , Dave ! “ she pleaded as she followed him out the door.

Claire's phone bleeped .

“ Kayleigh “ she said “ will I ask her to join us ?”

“ Oh yes “ said Joan “ we've got a nice story to tell, very nice “.


End file.
